Thursday, April 13, 2006

dial-up hell


so i live in dial-up hell.
i live in an area so remote and rural that the advent of just about any other form of internet hook up is denied me. truth! calling my phone or cable companies for information and/or updates on when the 21st century will be arriving in our area is an exercise in frustration and inspiration to scribe a remake of that old tv series, "green acres". so i DO have to wait for it to connect each time i wanna go on-line. i wait for pages to download and sometimes attachments take forever...but i really love my house, where i live. it's great for me and perfect for jake. lots of room to run and explore. so, i'll continue to suck it up...and hope.

why'd i tell you that? well, to tell you this.
i don't like to spend a lot of time on-line. i probably would if it didn't take so frikkin' long. but it does and so i try to get in and out quickly and not waste so much time just WAITING!
but i realized just recently that the things that i DO wait for, that i DO apply more patience to, are primarily weird related. i will wait interminable lengths of time for a page to load if its going to reveal a cool new story about the isnashi. i'll sit in fervent anticipation if the site is going to relate to me a creepy "something-was-in-the-room-with-me" ghost story. have you ever noticed that? you can find a vast reserve of patience when the goal is something you're (borderline) obsessed with.

i can't always get the internet to work for me. i mean, i'm okay, but--and maybe this is 'cause i have feelings of inferiority due to my dial-up restrictions--there are some things i just can't do.
a friend recently sent me a 'funny' email which listed all of the various uses for the word "sh!t" and it was actually kinda funny. i say 'funny' 'cause i get a lot of 'funny' emails that aren't funny at all. and if i gotta wait for the email to load...oh, man. don't get me started. so it listed all the variations and, as i said, a couple of 'em were funny, but it reminded me of something else.
about 10 years ago or so, i heard a similar discourse on the word "f^@k". it was absolutely brilliant, funny, and voiced by the guy who used to do the narration on all those old film strips they used to show us in school from the 50's and 60's. it was even funnier because it was done with that voice that you immediately associate with authority and knowledge. it was about 3 minutes long and we made tapes of it and passed it around. with the entire internet at my disposal, you'd think that i could track it down again, but no such luck.
ah, well...i'll keep looking...

so, my apologies. i think i started out with an idea, but lost it somewhere along the way.
i blame the dial-up.

more on the perhapanauts, weird stuff, and the AWESOME artists we have doing pin-ups for us in the upcoming perhapanauts trade next time!

see ya soon!


Anonymous said...

Ha! I feel your pain! I have dial up at home, so I do all my "heavy internet searching" during the day at work, I pretty much only check my e-mail at home... it's horrible when you have someone send you something and it's only around a meg but it takes 5 minutes to download! And the pain is amplified by the fact that we have a super fast connection here at work, so after surfin' all day in the fast lane, going home to my dial up makes me want to kick my computer.

Don't worry Todd, soon you'll have civilization at your doorstep, and you'll yern for "the good ol' days"

Jason Copland said...

I'm a part of the "must have now" generation. I need instant gratification. The day we got dial up, I danced the jig. And I don't dance.

But, echoing johnraygun's closing statement, be careful what you wish for. You may just get it. ;)

Kojee said...

Yeah, I've got dial-up too.

Brian said...

While i do miss the noise dial up made when
connecting to AOL, I don't miss constantly
getting knocked off.