i am not the super-huckster that stan lee was.
i am not good at pushing my own product.
i am not entirely comfortable with that whole end of the business.
the business end.
i like telling stories. i like to make you happy, make you laugh, make you cry, make you think.
i don't know how to make you buy.
stan was awesome at it! stan was the ultimate carnival barker, the guy you trusted immediately, the guy who could actually tell you what you wanted! let me say that again; stan could TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANTED! he was amazing! and it was so simple--he put it right there on the cover!
"BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT!!"
"WORLD'S GREATEST COMIC MAGAZINE!!"
"FACE IT, TRUE BELIEVER--YOU CAN'T MISS THIS ONE!"
along with the unique and colorful characters and the dynamic and stunning artwork, one of the most endearing things about ALL those early marvel covers is that they absolutely DRIPPED with hype!
and that was stan! all stan!
and he was right! you COULDN'T miss it! (of course, looking back it would seem that those very words were the hypnotic triggers that created generations of marvel zombies...but that's a different story...it wasn't until recently, some 40 years later, that some of us are finally waking up, saying, "hey, wait a minute...I don't remember demanding THIS?!?!?")
anyway, stan was the man! and we loved him for it! why, i even watched the first ten minutes of that painful, insufferable, superhero reality train wreck the other night JUST TO SEE STAN!! (then i hadda turn it off--it was makin' my eyes burn...)
but i'm not stan. i don't know how to make you think that your life will be an empty, vaccuous void if you don't order the next issue of the perhapanauts. actually, i don't WANT you to feel bad if you don't get it.
but i do want you to pick it up if you want to.
and i want you to be sure to tell your local comic shop owner that they should order a bunch for their store 'cause it's gonna be a good seller. and i do want the word to get out that this series is gonna blow the last series away! and tell your friends! and tell them to tell their friends! and tell them all to call, not just their comic shops, but LOTS of comic shops and just ask if they're going to have it! and i do wantcha to do that NOW 'cause this is the month that perhapanauts:second coming #1 is solicited in PREVIEWS and so this is the time for EVERYBODY to put their orders in!
>> here's how to do that: pick a zip code at random. anywhere in the country will do. call that handy toll-free comic shop locator number listed in every comic book (it's 1-888-266-4226). enter the zip code. and then call the shop or shops they give you and ask them the magic question, "will you be carrying the perhapanauts:second coming in your shop?" (if they ask you if you'd like to reserve one, say yes and tell them your name is 'hugh jass'. then hang up.) <<
also ask 'em if they ordered the perhapanauts trade, first blood.
not only will you have mine and craig's eternal thanks, but you'll get a nice warm feeling inside.
bottom line, perhapa-pals, is that we need the word out and we need it out NOW!!
thank you thank you thank you!
ps. anybody who would like one or both of the previously featured perhapanauts postcards sent to them need only 'e' me with their name and address at firstname.lastname@example.org. i'll put 'em in the mail pronto and you too--along with your postal carrier--will finally be able to read all the goofy stuff on the back! if you want the infamous choopie card that's making mother's nervous nationwide, let us know. we'll find a way to get that out to ya too!