Sunday, January 07, 2007

alison's tale--"It's a Breeze in the Tropics" part 1


so my dad says that i'm gonna put myself out of a job.

i have this dear, dear friend see, alison. we really truly, really grew up together. our parents grew up together actually. my mom and her mom were very good friends as kids, they went to school and through school together with my dad here in rhinebeck, and stayed here to raise their families. i was great friends with alison's brother, jeff, as a kid, and i think she (his little sister) and i had crushes on one another at one time or another--but never at the same time. most importantly, we grew up going to sunday school together.

and we grew up.
we all know what a mess i made of MY life. alison married a nice guy named richard and moved to his native puerto rico where they have two awesome ('cause they read tellos and the perhapanauts, that's how i know...) teenage boys, riali and chayen. e-mail has brought alison and i close again over the past 7 years or so and she has kept me abreast of any new developments chupacabra-wise and of any ufo activity in the area (PR is a well-known hot spot for ufos) it has also allowed us to help one another through some particularly rough times of late and for that i am ever grateful.


so alison is a wonderful writer and has sent me some of her poems and stories and i can always get lost in her lyrical and sensual prose.
so she writes last week and says, "hey! i got this great idea for a perhapanauts story!" and just like when brian said that, i said, "then go ahead and write it! you've certainly given it plenty of thought, so YOU do it!"
she originally stopped and sputtered, stalling, "well...i couldn't...i don't have...i..."
and then she sent me this.
i'll run it in three parts--monday, tuesday, and wednesday--and i really think you'll dig it.

have fun! this is great!

ps. for the answers to the "five on friday" trivia questions, see the comments section of that post. thanks!


[Moonlit night, essence of warm light breezes in the tropics with the sound of multiple coqui (pronounced: ko kee) staccatos jumping on the air.]

[Close in on a tree frog and his loudish coqui.]

...the song that lullabies Puerto Rican children (Could be drawn, or written and drawn.)

and accompanies the starlight whisperings of lovers on the beach. (Could be drawn, or written and drawn.)

[wide: typical rustic PR home (brightly painted plywood, simple front porch, open air windows with wooden shutters). Porch overlooks area with various types of tropical trees and a lagoon. (they don't have a yard, per se, their house is just set down amidst trees - though not junglish) Palms ring the lagoon, though there are scattered sections of denser vegetation (where the team will hang out), moonlit ripples on the water.]

For Don Luis and Doña María [Close in on older couple on porch - he in a hammock, she in a simple rocker.]

it speaks of seasons of sucking the rough sweetness of freshly cut cane [them as young lovers, at the edge of a cane field in the moonlight - maybe he with a machete in one hand, offering a piece of cane to her with the other.]

of swallowing one oyster after another, just pried from the mangrove roots [them, a bit older than previous frame, laughing - he in waist deep water with a machete, handing her an oyster - she, an earthy PR beauty, sitting on the tangle of roots. The sun is setting over the water behind him.]

of taking flights of fancy as they pondered what it could be like where the many birds that used to visit the lagoon came from. [couple a bit older than previous frame, sitting on the ground at water's edge, sharing a worn field guide, she pointing out toward a bird, - plenty of birds on water/shore. Sun rising. ] (No idea how to differentiate in drawing a sunrise from sunset, but there you have it. Actually, doesn't really matter, except in my mind - waaay too many gnats at sunrise to be in mangroves and more bird activity in early morning than at sunset on the lagoon. But really doesn't matter here.:-)

For them it was especially a time of gentle

BOOM! [from the depths of the lagoon]

craaaaaaaak [the ground near the lagoon fissures deep, though not long nor wide - a cobalt blue haze rises from it.]

[Don Luis grabs a shocked Doña María and pulls her into the house - slamming the door and shuttering the windows.]

[They tensely crouch together in a back corner of their one room home. Subsequent frames show their fear being answered only by a dense silence, until, finally]

[a single coqui punctures the silence like 2 stiletto heels on the feet of a defiant woman.] (Yeah, no idea how that would be drawn. lol)

[The couple visibly start to relax in their corner as the coquis slowly resume their song.]

[Daytime - Guy in HAZMAT suit standing large over the couple sleeping in each other's arms, in corner on the floor.] "Con permiso, Don, Doña, wake up. You need to leave. Come with me, please. Con permiso."

One month, well okay, one month and 3 days later...

-Molly and Arisa slumped on couch exchanging empty thought bubbles and bored sighs
-Big staring dully at blank computer screen
-MG slouched in office chair, head draped back, staring at ceiling, twiddling thumbs
-Choopie in chair making a slurpy mess all around him as he goes through one blood box after another]

MG to Big - both still bored/blank, "You think we've been decommissioned?"

Big, emotionless,"The incidences of creatures crossing into earth's realm wax and wane like most things in life. I suppose we could use this time to wax nostalgic. heh heh - er - sorry."

[MG rolls his eyes but does emit a miniscule chuckle.]

[Intercom squawks - voice tentative] Blue Team? uh we have

[Choopie jumps out of seat excitedly, "We have a breakthrough?! Let's go, where to?!?" [Everyone else also perks up.]

Intercom: Uh, not exactly, we, um, thought this would be a good time to do some, let's say, housekeeping.

[Annoyance on their faces, all turn to Choopie and in unison, "CHOOPIE!" [Choopie looks down around at his mess, current blood box having contributed by spilling more blood on floor when he jumped up.]

Intercom: Well, yes, that also needs to be addressed, but no, what we mean to say is that we've decided that this would be an ideal time to address the issue of alienus typicus groups that have taken up semi-permanent residency here. [all look to Arisa with looks of no way and send her subtle no type gestures - trying to stay out of intercom's camera view.] Although causing few problems beyond fright, they do not belong here.

Arisa, stepping directly into the camera's view, "With all due respect, sir, wouldn't Red Team be better suited for this? After all, they are ex-military - we all know the military has a history with these groups - and the mission doesn't seem to be overly - uh - (in small voice) challenging."

Intercom: Actually, your team is best suited for this mission because the first group you are to deal with has continually exploited a rift. While they have been careful to not let it tear further, it has become like the LA freeway for them, which means it is also an easy access into the area for less innocuous creatures.

Arisa: Yes, but sir,

Intercom: And, that area happens to be in familiar territory for your team - Puerto Rico. [Choopie smiles slyly while not missing a beat in his slurping.]

Big, looking at Choopie, groans and shakes his head: I just know this is going to be bad - somehow.

[In skipper] Arisa: Choopie, I know what's going through your mind.

Choopie: No you don't.

Arisa: Yes, I do, Choop, even without tapping in - you know I wouldn't without your permission. Listen, you need to keep a low profile in Puerto Rico. Nothing overt and above all, stay away from the goats!

[Big and MG talking quietly] MG: Why is Arisa giving a special earful to Choopie?
Big: Well, aside from Choopie having put the overt in covert, he was captured and put under the evolvo-ray in Puerto Rico. And while he advanced quite a bit, and while he is making due with his blood boxes - he says there is nothing in the world as good as the fresh goat blood in Puerto Rico. It is a major temptation for him.
MG: hmmmm, to each his own I suppose...


alison said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alison said...

egads - post, delete, edit, repost... someone stop me, please!

Thanks, Todd!! The visual inserts (google, google, google :-) are a great addition, thanks for dressing it up.

To Todd's readers - this is a first for me and high action/tension are a bit out of my writing realm - so you aren't gonna find that here, but regardless, I hope you enjoy this glimpse into my world, via our BEDLAM friends.

A gazillion thanks to Todd for being so generous of spirit and blog space - and for inspiring others to go for it. Love you!!

Brian said...

Hi Alison,

I loved the opening sequence. In just a few panels you get the reader to invest in Don Luis and Dona Maria and you had me really hoping they would be ok. So I'd have to say that you might just be underestimating your ability to build suspsense.


Tell your dad not to worry, as once the reading world comes to its senses and realizes how great your and Craig's 'Haps are,you'll need all the "friends" you can get to help keep up with the demand.

Unknown said...

You are infringing upon my registered copyright by posting several of my images on this page and others. I want my work removed immediately.