Happy Holidays from the Perhapanauts~!

and all the best in

2014~!

smell ya later~

craig and todd

The PERHAPANAUTS AUDIO COMIC CAST--

okay...

i've been posting the cover to the audio comic so much that i thought you might also like to see my original (crappy) suggestion for a design of the audio comic cover...

...as well as craig's variant cd cover (which i love even more~!!!)

if you haven't already gotten your download of MONSTERS AMONG US, get thee to the iTunes and download the fun!!

here's josh and chris' real bios and head shots...
enjoy~

CRICKET Commander Khial Forges

Singer/Songwriter, producer and published author, Joshua Hughes has been writing original screenplays, performing and directing since 2003. He most recently performed in Mad Horse Theater's Titus Andronicus as Aaron The Moor and is currently working on his original musical, Can’t Keep A Good Woman Down. 





Big

Christopher Price is a professional actor, director and voice artist who works in theater, radio and television. His credits include works by Shakespeare, Arthur Miller, Sam Shepard and David Mamet as well as numerous original radio theater productions and audio books.  He lives in Maine where he has narrated performances for the Portland Symphony and the Portland Ballet.

smell ya later!
todd

The PERHAPANAUTS AUDIO COMIC is UP~!!

okay...

so, it's here and it's up and available through Amazon, iTunes, and the Audio Comics Company's own website!

here are the links!

Audio Comics
http://audiocomicscompany.com/?page_id=330

Amazon MP3:
http://www.amazon.com/Perhapanauts-Monsters-Chimaera-Tellya-Somethin/dp/B00H94C2BK/ref=sr_1_4?s=dmusic&ie=UTF8&qid=1386895784&sr=1-4&keywords=audiocomics

Amazon MP3 UK:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Perhapanauts-Monsters-Chimaera-Tellya-Somethin/dp/B00H94AHJE/ref=sr_1_4?s=dmusic&ie=UTF8&qid=1386895979&sr=1-4&keywords=audiocomics

Amazon.de (Germany): 
http://www.amazon.de/Perhapanauts-Monsters-Chimaera-Tellya-Somethin/dp/B00H95LJ9U/ref=sr_1_4?s=dmusic&ie=UTF8&qid=1386896048&sr=1-4&keywords=AudioComics

for iTunes, just go to iTunes and type in "Perhapanauts" and you're set!

i had a wonderful time doing this, met some absolutely fantastic people, and learned an awful lot about telling a story for radio.
one of the things i learned is that, when you sell something through Amazon or iTunes, THEY get to decide at what price your hard work will sell for. (which is absolutely horrific!) so, in our case, The Perhapanauts: Monsters among us seeks for $7.99 at the Audio Comics Company, $6.99 at Amazon, and a ridiculous $1.99 on iTunes (whom I used to love...)
so...

if you're dying to hear our Perhapanauts Audio Comic, but don't have a lotta money, race on over to iTunes and get it cheap. if you DO happen to have a little cash in your account and would like to support the wonderful artists and producers who made this thing happen, download it from one of the other sites.
either way, i really hope you like it.











cd versions of the adventure will be available in early 2014.
have a great monday!
smell ya later~!
todd

The Perhapanauts Audio Comic Cast--Part 4

okay...

continuing our build-up to the launch of our Perhapanauts Audio Comic, we'll fill out the cast with three more members of the family.


CRICKET Sgt Jeff McCluskey

Brent Askari

though CRICKET Sgt Jeff McCluskey hasn't seen a lot of action in the pages of the Perhapanauts, he acts, in this story, as our "eyes in", the character we follow as he is introduced to this strange new world we've dropped him into. so we needed an actor who could be the "everyman", the character that the listener could identify with as the weirdness unfolded around him. brent brought this and more and, right from the start, you can feel him guiding you too through the doors of this mysterious place called BEDLAM.

Brent Askari is a member of Mad Horse Theatre and the Stone Pinhead Ensemble. He narrates the nationally syndicated children’s program Animal Science and has performed in numerous audio productions. Brent has written screenplays for several production companies, including Paramount Pictures, Marvel Films, and MTV. 

CRICKET Commander Khial Forges

Joshua Hughes

as the staunch CRICKET Commander Khial Forges, josh had his hands full having to be both authoritative and informative, explaining to mccluskey--along with CRICKET brian mulcahy--the ins and outs of BEDLAM and it's very unique agents. josh did a fantastic job of establishing some semblance of order even when his partner might been pushing his buttons.

Big

Christopher Price

wait until you hear...

chris is big.

for those of you who want to see the finished album/cd cover, it looks like this;

it'll be here tomorrow, available through iTunes, amazon and on the audio comics company website, www.audiocomicscompany.com

can't wait! 

smell ya later!

todd

The Perhapanauts Audio Comic Cast--Part 3

okay...

as we continue to countdown the days until The PERHAPANAUTS AUDIO COMIC hits the shelves...or the stores...or the airwaves...or whatever...here's more of the awesomely talented cast that brought our perhapanauts to life~!

molly

from the moment i met jaime, i knew she was gonna be an awesome molly. she was fun and funny and, once i grilled her with a few questions, started sharing some of the excellent characters she's developed over the years in her improv shows. she's VERRRRRy funny and i'm saying' it right now (scott), should be on SNL. jaime 'got' molly instantly and owned her from her first lines in the read-through--we all fell in love with her. again, i can't wait until you hear; you'll agree that no one could voice our little ghost better!

Jaime Andrews
Jaime Andrews is an improv, sketch and stand up comedian who can be seen performing in New York City on a weekly basis. In addition to creating her own internet comedy videos she has been featured in sketches for Funny or Die, College Humor and on Conan. She has a degree in Film & Video from the School of Visual arts and currently studies at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre.

as i said yesterday, though we all hung out and lived like family for the weekend at bill's gorgeous, roomy house up portland, i was fortunate enough to share the long ride back to new york with both jaime and our arisa, robin. we three got to know each other even more and jaime and i were treated to a lesson (or two) in accents and dialects from the incredibly talented and versatile robin. jaime kept us entertained with stories from her childhood and improv classes/shows and we also had to stop and pee a lot.
thank you both for a wonderfully entertaining ride home.

see more of jaime and catch her wacky youtube videos at http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEiiHjx5diRV7JVzMfZQLVQ


choopie

the only disappointment in the whole production.
the guy who played choopie sucks.

more tomorrow~!

smell ya later!

todd

The Perhapanauts Audio Comic--The Cast Part 2

okay...


so, with the PERHAPANAUTS AUDIO COMIC set to drop this sunday, december 15th  (it's kinda exciting...i've never had anything about to "drop" before...), i thought it would be cool to introduce you the the terrifically talented actors and actresses who brought your favorite paranormal investigations team to life.

gathered for a thrilling weekend in portland maine back in july, i got to meet and hang out with elaine, lance, and bill and the dream cast they put together for the first ever perhapanauts recording session. friday night we had a read through and briefing to give some of the actors more insight into the characters than might have appeared on the page. immediately there was a feeling of camaraderie and family--everybody fit together so well. they got to know their characters and we all got to know one another.

so let's start with arisa...

arisa was voiced by voice actress/book narrator-performer/dialect instructor, coach (and phenom!!) ROBIN MILES!! when we first started talking about doing a perhapanauts audio comic, lance and bill would talk in hushed tones, whispering, "maybe would could get robin miles for arisa..." then they'd kinda sigh like that was a pipe dream never to be realized. then the day came that they were able to secure her for the recording and called me to tell me like a couple of giddy schoolgirls who got tickets to one direction! her credits would break this blog. i checked her out online, but that was nothing compared to meeting her in person! she knew arisa immediately and wait 'til you hear...

Robin Miles

Robin Miles is an Audiofile Magazine Golden Voice, who they say “never disappoints.” She has recorded over 250 audiobooks, documentary films, museum installations, and audio dramas & comics and is one of the most sought after VO artists in the industry. Fans love her nuanced narration, emotional range, and impressive array of accents and characters, both male & female. 

In addition to winning numerous awards (Audies, Earphones, and “Best of the Year” designations), she is a Broadway veteran, with numerous classical and new play premiers, TV, film, and museum exhibits from coast to coast. Her recent and notable audio entertainment titles include Paint the Bird, Molly Danger, The Perhapanauts, Cleopatra: A Life, The Warmth of Other Suns, and the 2012 Audie finalist, The Freedom Maze.

An accent specialist with a love of language and literature, Ms. Miles also directs and teaches through her own production and teaching studio in NYC, Voxpertise. She has been Asst. Professor of speech at SUNY Purchase Theater Conservatory, acting teacher for the Neighborhood Playhouse, ESL instructor at Kaplan's NY International Center, and communication coach to Merrill Lynch managers. Now she teaches privately, at the National Audio Theater Festival, and directs celebrities and authors for different publishers.  She holds a BA from Yale University, an MFA from the Yale School of Drama and a certificate from the British American Drama Academie in England.

i got a chance to hear many of her incredible accents and dialects during an unforgettable 5 hour drive home with her and our molly, actress/comedian jaime andrews. jaime and i looked at each other many times, our mouths agape, as robin wound through her astounding repertoire of voices and accents!!



mg

man, did they nail mg. 
when bill and lance told me that they'd lined up PAUL DRINAN to voice our mysterious "new guy" on the team--our story takes place shortly after mg joined the ranks of the 'haps--i was eager to see how anyone would handle the very reserved agent without having very much to go on. i had nothing to worry about when i heard paul read him, channeling mg's desire to fit in while still maintaining that air of shadowy mystery. juggling playful and enigmatic is a tough thing--especially using only the tone, timbre, and inflection in your voice--but paul hit it perfectly. 

after our initial read-through was over, paul was the first to grab me to ask more about his character; what was his deal, back-story, where had he been, where was he going?
i sheepishly told him that, sorry, that was all top secret information. he very graciously accepted that, but then i broke and swore him to secrecy. along with craig and scott weinstein, paul drinan is the only other guy who knows the real secret of mg--he's HAVE to know, right? to be able to play him the best. but don't try to break him; we'll find you.

Paul Drinan

While acting in New York, Paul studied with the highly respected Jodie McClintock (Shakespeare), Terry Schreiber (scene study and stage relationships) and Patsy Rodenberg (vocal coach to the Royal Shakespeare Company). While in LA, Paul had the good fortune of studying voice over with Louise Chamis.  Paul has worked extensively in film, television, on stage and in the recording booth. Directors Paul has worked with include Stanley Tucci, Jim Wilson, Mel Gibson, Joe Pitka, and Bill Dufris. Paul has shared the set and stage with Cameron Diaz and Mark Jacoby, narrated for The Portland Symphony, and has been a personal bartender to Dan Rather.

Favorite theatrical roles include Stanley in A Streetcar Named Desire, Berowne in Loves Labours Lost, Nick in Over The River, MacDuff in Macbeth,  Michael in What Happened Was, Mitchell in The Little Dog Laughed and Steve in August: Osage County. Paul is a founding member of the Acorn Shakespeare Ensemble, the award winning audio theater group Rocky Coast Radio Theater and has performed with members of The Royal Shakespeare Company.

As a media coach, Paul guides people and organizations by giving them the tools and confidence to deal with their fear of public speaking and improve their presentation skills. Paul has helped achieve successful media moments on a local, regional and national level. For more information please visit www.dirigomediaconsulting.com


more on this awesome cast tomorrow!
smell ya later!
todd

The PERHAPANAUTS AUDIO COMIC~The Cast

okay...

"so, wait a minute, todd," i can hear you saying, "what's the story of the first ever perhapanauts audio comic all about?" well, i'm glad you asked.

the perhapanauts audio comic--which i continue to refer to as anything from "the  perhapanauts audio adventure!" to "the perhapanauts radio drama!" to "the perhapanauts sound movie thingy!"--is loosely based on our very first storyline from First Blood/Dark Days. Entitled "MONSTERS AMONG US!" or "Chimaera Wanna Tell Ya Somethin'...!" it follows the reveal of the strange and mysterious doings at BEDLAM by CRICKET newcomer, sgt. jeff mccluskey.

produced from a script by yours truly, guided by the patient and gentle hands of elaine lee (who knows so well what works in audio and what doesn't. thank you for teaching me so much, elaine.), the adventure runs about 52 minutes and is full of twists and turns that perhapanauts fans have come to expect! (after the initial read-through which ran late into the night, elaine and i stayed up for another several hours, punching up parts that didn't play clearly and getting pretty punchy ourselves, which just made things more fun!)

elaine is also responsible for some of the background voices and some off-mic character direction.

as i've said, elaine is the writer/co-creator of the ground-breaking stage play and then graphic novel, STARSTRUCK. if you have yet to experience STARSTRUCK in any of it's incarnations, then you're missing out on something wonderful! illustrated by the incomparable Michael Kaluta, the graphic novel is available in bookstores and, of course, through amazon. the Starstruck Audio Comic is available through amazon, iTunes, and audiocomicscompany.com. she has also written a number of comics that have appeared in dc, vertigo, heavy metal, epic comics, and eclipse.

also on the production end of things--although everyone provided voices to the production as well--is lance roger axt, who is the director/co-creator of the audio comics company and the guy who actually wrangled this production, and all the talent that went with it, together. lance kept the ship running through the weekend while simultaneously taking on the task of bringing CRICKET commander brian mulcahy to vocal life...a daunting responsibility in that!

Lance Roger Axt (Sergeant Mulcahy) is the co-founder of AudioComics, through which he appeared in the productions of Starstruck, Titanium Rain (Episode One), Honey West: Murder on Mars, Battle for LA, The Domino Lady, and Molly Danger. He also oversees the company's Pulp Adventures line in San Francisco.

In addition to AudioComics, Lance has been a proud member (and as of 2010, Vice President) of the National Audio Theatre Festivals, Inc., an organization dedicated to the education and promotion of contemporary audio theatre, since 2002. He has been a regular attendee at the NATF’s Audio Theatre Workshop, and directed the world premiere of Knocking on Heaven’s Door, written by comics legend JM DeMatteis, at the 2011 ATW. He also produced the NATF’s “Audio Art of Animation” workshop in Hollywood, and is one of the co-creators of the Norman Corwin Award for Excellence in Audio Theatre, the only award of its kind in America honoring life achievement in audio theatre/radio drama.

and where would we be without our energetic, animated, generous director, bill dufris?! bill has a long list of credits which i will leave for his bio (below) to reveal, but needless to say that bill knew the entire story frontwards and backwards and guided the cast through it (seemingly) effortlessly. in that he would also be acting as editor/producer of the production, bill also knew what he might need later in the editing room and, like the master he is, had us give him multiple takes in all the right places. also jumping in to voice karl the moth man, bill brought this thing home!

William Dufris is the original voice of BOB (and Farmer Pickles/Mr. Beasley/Mr. Sabatini) in the popular children's show, BOB The Builder - for US and Canada (Series 1-9). William began his audio career in London (radio plays, audiobooks, film/animation dubbing, language tapes, etc), where he resided for 13 years. While there, he had the honor of sharing the microphone in a number of BBC Radio plays with Kathleen Turner, Sharon Gless, Stockard Channing and Helena Bonham-Carter. 

These experiences led him to co-found three audio production companies - The Story Circle, Ltd, Mind's Eye Productions and Audio Comics Company, for which he produces, directs, acts and engineers . 

He has been nominated over 10 times as an audiobook finalist for the APA's Audie Awards (winning in 2012 for Non Fiction - The Murder of the Century by Paul Collins), and has garnered 22 Golden Earphones Awards through AudioFile Magazine - as well as being named “One Of The Best Voices At The End Of The Century” (AudioFile Magazine), as well as 2008 and 2009.

more on the cast and the production tomorrow, but that's all for today.

smell ya later~!

todd

The Perhapanauts Audio Comic~!

okay...

so, as some of you may know, a year or so ago i was approached by my good friend, elaine lee---yes, THAT elaine lee who, among many other things, created with michael kaluta that galaxy-spanning, spectacular space-opera, STARSTRUCK--to see if craig and i would be interested in having our little perhapanauts turned into a radio play by her pals at the AUDIOCOMICS Company.

we, of course, said yes.

i was introduced to elaine's fellow producers at audio comics, lance roger axt (voice artist and owner/director of lra voiceovers) and bill dufris (voice artist/featured audiobook narrator and editor) and, after some fun conversations over what form the production would take, i got to work on a script.

jump to this summer, where i and an amazing collection of talented people spent a lovely weekend in portland maine voicing and laying down background noise for the audio comic, hopefully giving bill enough for him to shape it all into a fast and frenetic--and hopefully enjoyable--audio adventure that everyone would want to hear.

over the past few months, while juggling an already busy schedule, bill has been able to sculpt what i think is a fantastic experience that your ears will not want to miss!

                     The Perhapanauts Audio Comic: "MONSTERS AMONG US!"
                                       or "Chimaera Wanna Tell Ya Something"
makes it's official debut this Sunday, December 15th on iTunes, Amazon, and, of course, on the AudioComics website!

for the rest of this week i'll be posting some pictures and bios of the very talented actors from the cast, giving you the 411 on who played whom and alla that.

here is craig's artwork for the production, which will appear on the cd and download.
stay tuned!

smell ya later~

todd

Ladies and Gentlemen~ My pal Craig is about to make your head explode...

okay...


because he loves our 'kids', because he can't stand still for long, because he is truly one of the most underrated artists in comics today, my pal/partner/comrade and co-conspirator CRAIG ROUSSEAU has been working slyly on the side to produce what I think are some of the most stunning pieces in the Perhapanauts Archives so far...

starting with this GORGEOUS set of prints featuring The Lost Spin-Off Covers of titles we WISH we could do were the market enough to let us go hog wild and do what we wanted! Big's BIG Adventures! Straight out of Saturday Morning it's The Lil' HAPS! The Incredible CRICKET~! Choopie's WEIRD TALES! and more~!

Ready for framin'...or wrapping up for some lucky Perhapa-Fan for Christmas!

and, as if that weren't enough, you gotta check out this phenomenal

retro Perhapanauts Propaganda Poster Print!

This just screams "Put me on your wall!!"

I did!

so zip on over to the ever-expanding Perhap-Store (see tag above)

and get yours today!

Supplies are limited!

smell ya later~!

todd

Craig and Mike's FANTASTIC Cover for the DANGER DOWN UNDER trade~!

okay...

The PERHAPANAUTS: DANGER DOWN UNDER! 

trade is now being solicited to be in stores January 29th!

Here's Craig's Awesome cover

with Spectacular colors by our own

MIKE THOMAS!!

Besides the hemisphere-hopping saga this trade will also include a 

Covers Gallery  

featuring the variant and back covers from the series

with artwork by 

Jim Starlin, Terry Austin, Lauren Monardo-Gramprey, 

Joe Staton, Mike Thomas, Matt Wieringo, Christian D. Leaf, 

Charles Paul Wilson III, Daniel Warren,

Mike Maihack, Matt Tyree, Andrew Cramer,

Walter Simonson, Michael Golden, Eric Henson, and Alex Sollazzo!

Also, a Spotlight on the talented and terrific

ERIC HENSON

...and much more!

And here's the solicit with all the pithy information you all love so much...

so make sure to complete your 

collection and order yours today!!

smell ya later!

todd

Whatcha gonna be...?

okay...

by my cool marvel calendar--which has the cover to amazing spider-man no.66 for october--it's wednesday october 2nd and time to ask that perennial question...

WHATCHA GONNA BE FOR HALLOWEEN?

while here in the northeast, summer has granted us an extra week or so of balmy summer weather, it's time to start getting those costumes together and boning up on your make-up techniques. don't know how many of you are fans of syfy's frantic, somewhat addictive show FACE-OFF--i can't get enough!--but it's time to start putting all that cool stuff you learned to good use and design your own creepy, scary, insane make-ups and applications for the spookiest day of the year!

as always, if you do something, we'd love to see it! send in pics of your halloween costumes--scary or otherwise--and we can share our halloween's together!

here are a couple more make-up oriented pics to inspire and apply!

i love this first one and think i'm gonna try it--zombies made from toilet paper and glue...

this one looks creepy, but...

no. it's creepy.

peeled away skin is kinda big these days. now that you know the (cheap) trick with the glue and the toilet paper (see above) something like this should be easy.

and here's something that's sorta easy to do...but with ghastly effect~!

hope that gets your imaginations cooking!

let us know what you're up to...and let's see what we can do!

smell ya later~!

todd

Derrick Fish, The Wellkeeper, and Zombies at the Gate~!

okay...

so here's something that we've been sitting on for so long that we're all about to bust!

last year, craig and i received this awesome Perhapa-Pin-Up from comic book writer/artist/creator
DERRICK FISH! it was a super-cool image of the Haps battling back some Zombies and we immediately made plans to include it as a supplement to Danger Down Under!

then we went to HeroesCon where we met the fun and fabulous Derrick himself...

... and got a chance to hang a bit and chat. there, he wowed us with copies of his wonderfully fantastic independent comic THE WELLKEEPER, a gorgeously illustrated journey of magical adventure!

somewhere along the line, i told derrick that i had actually plotted a short Perhapanauts vs. Zombies Tale  originally intended to appear in a upcoming volume of  Rich Woodall's thrilling Zombie Bomb anthology, but time and time weren't on our side, so the script got shelved.

before you could say " Nosmo King", derrick jumped up and offered to draw the zombie story and craig and i, in turn, jumped at the chance.

and now, after months of all of us getting things done in our--ha ha!--spare time (derrick on pencils and inks, craig and i on letters, the lovely rich woodall on formatting and such), we are all very proud to present...

TALES FROM THE PERHAPS no.2
"ZOMBIES At The GATE!"
A New Haps Digital
by Todd Dezago and Derrick Fish
Available EXCLUSIVELY at

www.artistalleycomics.com

here, of course, is the freakin' AWESOME cover that derrick whipped up for the tale...


and here, just to tease ya, is page one...

now you've seen it and now you have no excuse not to hustle on over to www.artistalleycomics.com and plunk down your 99¢--yeah, that's right! it's only 99¢!!--and see what all happens next! we guarantee you're gonna like it!

c'mon--you've got a paypal account, right? it's just 99¢!

and while you're there at www.artistalleycomics.com, check out derrick's very own The Wellkeeper issue 0! it's completely free and worth ten times that!! (that didn't come out right...)

and take a look around at some of the other great comics they've got there--you'll be glad you did!

do it!
smell ya later!
 todd

untranslateable words

okay...

so, as we take a week off from our very successful Ten Buck Bonanza! Summer Spectacular, I thought I'd post something I found online and see if it was as fascinating to you as it was to me...

here it is

kinda cool...no?

anyway, more this week!

smell ya later!

 todd

TEN BUCK BONANZA!!!--Arisa and Molly Ts~!!

okay...

here's the big sale for this week...

while supplies last--ARISA and MOLLY T-Shirts!! $10 each!
get 'em while they last!

plus, did i mention, each order comes with this exclusive

Perhapanauts HAPS bumper sticker for your car or locker!!

order now!

smell ya later!

todd

weird stuff~!

okay...

it's been quite a while since we've had a post relating to weird stuff out there in this strange world of ours. thanks to our pals WARREN NEWSOM and RICH WOODALL, we don't have to go surfing all over the web to find something bizarre.

though i think i've posted each of these on our Perhapanauts Facebook page, i wanted to touch on them once again, 'cause...man, they are both so eerie. ( i like that word a lot for both of these. eerie. it fits the strange sounds to a 'T" and covers the tiny fence-webs as well.)



first up, here's the link that rich sent over from wired.com. it's this very strange phenomenon that has turned up recently in peru. and i want to know more.

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2013/09/weird-weblike-thing/

second--and this one creeps me out more than anything--is this link from warren from the huffingtonpost.com

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/30/strange-sounds-heard_n_3845343.html

Strange Sounds Heard In Terrace, British Columbia, May Be Connected To Worldwide Phenomenon (VIDEO)

for those of you that follow coast to coast am as i do, you'll know that investigative journalist linda moulton-howe has been following these very strange, unsettling, omnipresent sounds for the past year or so. this phenomenon has been occurring all over the world and explanations range from the mundane to out-of-this-world. literally. is something trying to push it's way over from the other side? man, i can't wait to find out!


check 'em out!
lemme know whatcaha think.
smell ya later~!
todd

$10 BONANZA!!--Danger Down Under! Variant Covers Bundle!!!

okay...

gotta be quick~!

here's the down-low on this week's deal~

All SIX Variant Covers from our latest Danger Down Under!

this includes such friends and legends as;

~  JIM STARLIN and TERRY AUSTIN!

~  JOE STATON!

~  CHARLES PAUL WILSON III!

~  MIKE MAIHACK!

~  MICHAEL GOLDEN!

~  WALTER SIMONSON!


Go to the 'Store' and order yours today!!

smell ya later~!
todd

gardinel and manly wade wellman~

okay...

several weeks ago, when i was gently challenging anyone and everyone to come up with a bit of modern myth or folklore of their own, our pal warren newsom sent me this bit of backwoods wisdom under the subject heading, "I didn't make this up..."
inside, followed by (...the great Manly Wade Wellman did.)

the coincidence was jarring in that, though i had first heard of this enigmatic author a year or so ago from walter simonson--who offered that i would really enjoy wellman's supernatural backwoods yarns and especially some of the bizarre critters he encountered--but i had, just that week, finally tracked down a copy of one of his long out-of-print books on ebay and had it en route when warren invoked his name.

manly wade wellman--love that name! as does walt, as does warren--was a writer for the pulps, a contemporary of such luminaries as malcolm jameson and otto binder. he wrote, mostly, of the strange happenings in the deep, dark hills of the appalachians and is probably best known for his tales of silver john or john the balladeer, a guitar playing wandering minstrel who encountered more than his fair share of strangeness throughout those mountains.

here is the text and photo from warren's original email.

(…the great Manly Wade Wellman did.  The photo is a composite.)

“If the gardinel's an old folks' tale, I'm honest to tell you it's a true one.

Few words about them are best, I should reckon. They look some way like a shed or cabin, snug and rightly made, except the open door might could be a mouth, the two little windows might could be eyes. Never you'll see one on main roads or near towns; only back in the thicketty places, by high trails among tall ridges, and they show themselves there when it rains and storms and a lone rarer hopes to come to a house to shelter him.

The few that's lucky enough to have gone into a gardinel and win out again, helped maybe by friends with axes and corn knives to chop in to them, tell that inside it's pinky-walled and dippy-floored, with on the floor all the skulls and bones of those who never did win out; and from the floor and the walls come spouting rivers of wet juice that stings, and as they tell this, why, all at once you know that inside a gardinel is like a stomach.

Down in the lowlands I've seen things grow they name the Venus flytrap and the pitcher plant, that can tole in bugs and flies to eat. It's just a possible chance that the gardinel is some way the same species, only it's so big it can tole in people.

Gardinel. Why they're named that I can't tell you, so don't inquire me.”

-- Manly Wade Wellman, “Farther Down the Trail”

From the short story collection, John the Balladeer




thanks, warren--awesome stuff!
that's it for today!
smell y alater!
todd