uriel's story

okay...

getting right to it, here is a story from uriel, a perhapa-fan from mexico...


Mr. Dezago,

Hi! My name's Uriel A. Duran, long time reader and first time writer from Mexico City.
Your contest seems like fun so I decided to join with a story I wrote some time ago. It's not exactly a horror story but it does talk about what fear is.
Hope you like it, and keep that great work with the Perhapanauts.

The story is:
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Blattophobia (or "Fear and Uncertainty")
Ah,phobias.Those sudden sensations that inexplicably haunt us and take over our will,overcoming our supposed self-control whit that thing we call FEAR.

Well,I am moderately phobic,as almost everyone else.So far I've never any person who does not hoard deep inside themselves a little fear,usually an unexplained one towards an animal in particular.Sure,we all understand that it's quite reasonable to be afraid of a poisonous cobra or someone so untamed and cruel like a serial killer hunting new victims.But,What happens when you're afraid of an animal that strictly can't harm you?

So,this is the time when I must make a sad and shameful confession about my most deep and uncontrollable phobia:cockroaches.
I want to clarify first that my fear is absolutely not devoid of foundations.I'm completely sure that those little animals are aware of my fear...they can smell it...they look for it...it attracts them irremediably.

I'll tell you about something that proofs that.
About one month ago,I opened the door of my house to pick up the newspaper,when I made a revolting discovery:there was a goddamn cockroach,crawling the door.So silent (not that I expected to hear it bark,you know),stalking,trying to blend itself with the brown color of the door...a roach-brown color,whose hue I'm hating more and more every day whenever I remember about the incident.And then the awful bastard stood still and did not made the slightest attempt to move or hide.It just stood there,watching me,like if it were challenging me.

I was petrified.

But immediately I recovered my courage and bravery,and so I quickly closed the door...and I started to cry against the wall as little girl.

Okay,actually not.Yes,I did close the door,but I didn't cry.In fact,I went to the kitchen,possessed by a growing rage and I took a weapon worth of the dangerous task I was about to fulfill:a powerful and lethal broom.
I got back to the door and opened it again,protecting my neck just in case that perfidious and revolting son of a bloody roach (I hate them!) tried to jump to my jugular.
And I saw it.But it didn't jump nor it tried to attack me,it rather stood there,quietly stuck to the door,moving his awful antennae as if it were saying "Come on you sissy,go ahead,make my day."
I swung my broom with a quick and accurate blow that made the cockroach fly about 2 meters...and then if finally moved.

Here I'd like to make a brief pause so I can mention a characteristic that always has attracted my attention to the topic of the phobias that people have towards animals.I have questioned many persons about their own phobias,and the answer is always the same:"The animal is not simply disgusting by itself.What really gives me the creeps is THE WAY IT MOVES."

The way it moves...

So far I have not managed to explain it exactly why,but what I detest more in a cockroach is that:its movements.

Okay,so as I was saying,the repugnant beast started to move,and I felt sick.So I brandished my weapon with fury,and threw ferocious blows that didn't made any contact.

The damned creature got away.

As its escape took it far away from the door of my house,I felt more or less relieved,knowing that I accomplished the sacred task of protecting my home.

But later,at night...

That night,I was on my bed,resting calmly.
About 3:00 am,I woke up because I heard a noise.In this city in which authorities have worked so hard fighting crime,well,you learn to be always prepared in case you see or heard something unusual.

So I went to see that everything were normal,but then when I was walking through the living room,I heard another noise.A noise coming from a pile of old magazines.I was speculating with my sleepy brain about what could it be when I felt something over my naked foot.

Yes,my friends,something walked quickly over my foot and was about to crawl my ankle.I can remember perfectly that my first thought was "Let it be a spider,let it be a spider,please,let it be a spider..." Not that I feel a special pleasure when a spider crawls my legs,mind you,but I didn't want to think in any other possibility that overflowed all the limits of my disgust and fear.

I jumped.

I went directly to the light switch,and I fell prey of panic as I found out something shocking:it was IT.You're not going to believe me,but I swear in the name of all things sacred that it was THE VERY SAME bastard cockroach that was in the door that morning.Again I felt sick when I saw it ran away and hide underneath an armchair.

I also ran away,looking for my deadly weapon and when I returned,it happened the most incredible thing.The cockroach couldn't be seen anywhere.I was there,standing in the middle of the room,snorting with disgust and horror,without finding it.Suddenly I heard a slight sound without being able to identify where exactly it came from.

And then...it happened again.

The cockroach came from behind me and once again walked OVER MY NAKED FOOT.Yeah,in a lapse of less than five minutes I had felt twice the revolting sensation of its tiny,multiple legs scratching my skin.

Finally I yelled something like "Sonova...!" ,but I contained myself because even with the rage boiling inside me I didn't want to wake up all the neighbors.I threw some blows with my broom and the freaky spawn went to hide behind some toy soldiers.
I waited for about 5 or 10 minutes and then it appeared again:indolent,shameless and brazen.

It was then when yhe prehistoric hunter inside me lived again,the caveman whose skills made the difference in becoming the hunter or the prey.As if it were a lance,I raised my glorious broom with the right hand (the image must have been stirringly manly and epic) and I hit the revolting creature with a powerful and fast blow.

I destroyed it.There it was,now a stain,a revolting,inert evidence of my fear,all spread over the fibers of the broom (later that week,I threw that broom and bought a new one).

The blow was executed with such rage that I got an arm-ache during all the next day.

But the worse thing was the facts were very clear:the cockroach,you see,it STALKED ME.

It looked for me.
It started the confrontation.
I killed it.
But it left the fear inside me.

Although...then,I began to think about that...well...perhaps the President just died and reincarnated in the creepy-crawly that had approached me,and maybe was trying to tell me that his death was in fact a murder planned by some secret conspirators.And I killed him again for the second time in a day! Poor Mr. President!

But...my advice is,if it was really you Mr. President,and I killed you again,please,the next time you die:DON'T MESS WITH MY FRAGILE NERVES AND RATHER REINCARNATE IN A LESS SCARY CREATURE,DAMMIT! Now,if you are not dead Mr. President,my friendly advice remains the same.

Still,I wonder if am I wrong.Did I make an immoral act? Do I need professional help to overcome my fear? Does somebody knows how pathogenic are cockroaches? I already did a search in the Internet and two blogs say that they are not at all and another one says that they are highly dangerous for health,and now I am confused...

For your time and understanding,thank you very much.




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are our entries getting you in that spooky halloween spirit? i hope so! with halloween just a week away, i'm trying to get in as much creepy reading and horror movie watching as i can! matt sent me a copy of "the inhuman condition" by clive barker that i have been trying not to read too quickly, to draw out the luxuriously ghoulish experience...but it's hard. and i have plans to go see quarantine this weekend, which i'm really excited about!
what are you up to...? and, anybody got pics they wanna send in of their halloween costumes? we'd love to see 'em!

anyway, here are a couple of halloween pictures to get you in the mood...





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and here are your
"five for friday"
this week, as we've done before, we have some initial riddles.
try to figure out the familiar sayings or values with only these numbers and initials.
(example: 52 C in a D of C = 52 Cards in a Deck of Cards)

1. 12 M in a Y

2. 9 P in the S S

3. 200 Y make a B C

4. 15 M on a D M C

5. 99 B of B on the W

6. 6 O in an I

7. 3.8 L equals 1 G

8. 13 S on the A F

9. 4 S in a D of C

10. 32 T in an (A H) M

and that's it for me!
have a great weekend!
smell ya later!
todd