Wednesday, April 08, 2009

building a story pt. 2


here is part 2 in our "building a story" series entitled "beat sheet." this is where, mostly for my own use, i map out how the story will unfold and how many pages it'll take to do that. it's all about condensing--for most scenes i could usually add another page or two. this is where the self-editing takes place, where you, as the writer, pick and choose what works best for the story and for the scene. and try not to cram too much into it--your poor artist has to draw this, remember...

speaking of the artist, this story was done by my pal, sensational cover artist, sanford green!! i'll be dropping in some of his sweet pencils as the construction continues...

Jumping To Conclusions
“...Everything You Read.”
outline/beat sheet
todd dezago

Page 1
SPLASH! A copy of today’s DAILY BUGLE featuring a surprised PROWLER being caught leaving the scene of a crime being slapped down on a desk, as JONAH’S off-panel voice announces, “Now THAT’S what I’m talking about!”

Page 2
In Jonah’s Office as Jonah reads PETER the riot act, telling him that with him it’s always SPIDER-MAN, people are sick of Spider-Man, HE’S sick of Spider-Man! Jonah gestures to the large, farmed covers of the Bugles that adorn his office walls, each one exclaiming Spider-man as the menace and freak that he is! Peter needs to be like him (indicating Phil Sheldon in the bullpen), a REAL photojournalist! Now get out, Parker--you’re wasting my time!

Page 3
Dejected, Peter talks with Betty, her telling him that JJJ will change his tune, he always does, Peter explaining that he’s gotta keep this job; it’s the only after school thing he can do to get the money he needs to help Aunt May out with bills. Overhearing Jonah tell Phil to get more on this Prowler guy, Peter worries that Phil might be in danger, and that maybe Spider-Man ought to tag along to watch out for him!

Page 4 and 5
...And he could do that best as SPIDER-MAN! It is early evening now as, from above, Spidey watches Phil gets a tip on his cell phone and then is friendly with the Cops on the scene--a warehouse that looks like one corner has been blown in. As Phil gets yet another shot of the Prowler evading the Cops, Spidey goes after and catches the fleeing criminal!

Pages 6 through 9
Spidey and the Prowler mix it up a bit, both showing off their amazing talents, when Spidey let’s slip that the Prowler must be a bad guy, he read it in the Bugle!

Page 10 and 11
They have a bonding moment here when the Prowler asks Spidey if he ever thought that maybe the Bugle has it wrong?, Spidey sheepishly apologizing as he remembers all the front pages with his own picture, himself labelled a menace. The Prowler explains that he is a young inventor, that he had been very protective of his work, and that after he was rejected by the Roxxon Corporation ( rejected by the insidious Dr. JONAS HARROW ), he found both his home and his workshop broken into by what he thought were thieves looking to steal his devices. The first break-in was at his home, the second, here, is his workshop.Spidey asks, well, if it’s not you then–-? as a large shadow passes over them, blotting out the moonlight.

Page 12
--DRAGON MAN! And he’s got a few of the Prowler’s inventions!

Pages 13 through 16
As the two costumed “menaces” go after the fleeing Dragon Man, they find that the giant Gargoyle is mighty and breathes fire! They save one another from the Beast,
creating a mutual respect and admiration for one another and showing some nice teamwork!

Page 17
They follow Dragon Man back to a Roxxon subsidiary to discover the android (now we know!) with his secret puppet master--Dr. JONAS HARROW, a Roxxon scientist bent on developing a new flight technology for Roxxon as they investigate new forms of transportation.

Pages 18 through 20
Harrow sics Dragon Man on the two costumed adventurers, and they play hide and seek with the Creature, sensing an almost playfulness in it, but realizing that Harrow controls the Beast with a painful remote control device! Getting control of the device, they bring the Doctor down and reclaim the Prowler’s devices.

Page 21
The two heroes bond, shake hands and wish each other the best as SPIDEY takes a picture of them saving the day--and exonerating the Prowler--before they go!

Page 22
Cut to; the next day. On the cover of the Bugle is one of the other photos from Peter’s camera, one showing Spider-Man and the Prowler hanging from the escaping Dragon Man beneath a headline tying the three of them together in the crime wave!Peter argues with Jonah, who tears him up, telling Peter that this is his paper and he’s not about to clear Spider-Man’s name on the word of some snot-nosed high schooler!! Now get out of my office, Parker--You’re wasting my time!


more tomorrow!
smell ya later~

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

1st POST!!!!



...oops... it's Saturday...


Damn Solid Raja