Monday, April 06, 2009

a new week.


sometimes i look at this blog and feel like it's just me rambling on for no good reason at all. i imagine all of you out there reading this saying, "what the hell is he going on about now?" (usually i'm imagining it's brian and so he does this in his very polite and cordial way, in his wicked awesome boston accent, but still..."what the hell is he going on about?!"...)

today's one of those days that i really don't feel that i've got much to say.

so i'll hit you with this email my friend bob sent me and i thought was funny (especially the last part...). you may have seen it before--many of these things make the rounds--but if not, enjoy...


a. If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
b. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

a. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
b. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

a. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
b. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on

a. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
b. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

a. A woman has the last word in any argument.
b..Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

a. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
b. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

a. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
b. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

a. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
b. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

a. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
b. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
c. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
d. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

a. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
b. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humour and who can
handle it, and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

Proof that Men Have Better Friends.

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.


and here's a statue that someone made of one of my favorite cryptids--the dover demon!

have a good monday!
smell ya later!


Brian said...

I've seen that e-mail around, but I never tire of reading it.

My favorite is about women having the last word in the argument - that's a classic.

Missed you at the Boston show, but you were there in both print and spirit.

Heywood Jablomie said...

always funny stuff in that there email.

and even when you think you're 'rambling' it's always a great time reading this blog!

even if i don't always post i'm always here

Christian D. Leaf said...

The Argument one is the best of the bunch, though the rest are pretty darn funny theirownselves.