Thursday, December 07, 2006

brian's story--"down in the dump" part 3


we received a bunch of mail praising brian's story and more than likely you're skipping all of my babble here and jumping right down to the conclusion. that's okay. go to it. it's GOOOOOD!

it really is. brian, you did a great job and, again, i'm just amazed at how quickly you turned this around! one night!!

hopefully, this'll inspire more of you to write, draw, paint, compose, sculpt, photograph, model, etch-a-sketch, carve out of ham, or lego your own perhapanauts piece and send it in to share with the rest of us. come know you want to!

okay, i'll shut up now. enjoy!
and have a great weekend!



Big and MG conduct a through search of all the dwellings in the cliff, but find no trace of Choopie nor any clues as to what may have happened to the Anasazi who once lived here or any indication that the even did live here. Moving on to the exterior, Big notices massive jagged grooves running up and down the outer sides of the cliff dwellings. Big closely examines the grooves, his expression changing from inquisitive to stoic.

MG: Ready to head back?

Big: Yes, but first there’s something I have to tell you before we get back to Molly.

MG: Okay, what is it.

Big: These cliff dwellings weren’t built under ground; they were forcefully dragged down here.

MG: You mean like by an earthquake?

Big: No, this was done intentionally.

MG: Holy . . . . the kind of power that would take, what on earth are we dealing with here?

Big: Oh, I wouldn’t limit our sphere of inquiry to earth on this one.


MG and Big head back to Molly and Arisa to determine their next course of

MG: This will be a little easier than the last time as there are only two passageways out of this cavern so we’ve got a fifty-fifty chance of picking the right one. So, will it be column A or column . . .

MG stops in mid-sentence because he sees the same little bright blue-eyed creature that Choopie had encountered earlier peaking out from the second passageway. MG immediately breaks into a run while calling over his shoulder to Big and Molly.

MG: You two stay with Arisa, I’m going to try and catch this thing.

No sooner does MG disappear down the passageway then a deathly silence falls over the cavern. After waiting for what seems like an eternity for MG to come back, Big looks over at Molly and says:


Big: I think we better go see if we can find MG.

As Big is speaking the little blue eyed creature peaks out from the other passageway. Big, like MG, breaks into a run as the creature disappears back down the passageway and yells over his shoulder to Molly

Big: If I’m not back in ten minutes, go for help.

Molly, now left alone with Arisa, becomes nervous and starts talking to herself.

Molly: Not good . . . not good . . . Come on Mol, hold it together; your friends are counting on you. You can’t let them down, not after everything they’ve done for you, not after . . .

Just then, Arisa's eyes snap open and she sits bolt upright taking a big gasp of air as if awakening from one of those dreams where you’re falling and about to hit the ground.


Arisa: I saw it Mol, I saw what grabbed Choopie . . . (shuddering and holding herself)

Molly: What is it ‘Ris

Arisa: I don’t know. It’s ancient, almost as old as the earth itself, but it doesn’t have a name because no one who has ever seen it has lived to tell the tale. And I know (hesitating) something even worse,"

Molly: And what's that? (said with fearful trepidation)

Arisa: I know where it is.

Molly: Where? (looking to her left and then her right)

Arisa: Directly below us.

No sooner are the words out of her mouth than the dirt under Arisa explodes into the air and she disappears into the ground.

Molly is momentarily dumbstruck by what she has just witnessed and just floats above in the air unsure of what to do. Finally, a look of resolve spreads across her face as she realizes what she must do. Molly looks down at the ground where her friend just disappeared and dives in after her.



Molly passes through the ground and emerges into a very large cavern the bottom of which is entirely taken up by a gigantic gapping mouth with hundreds of tentacles emanating from its sides waving in the air. (Kind of like the creature in the sand from Return of the Jedi, but on steroids) At the end of each tentacle can be seen a pair of crystal blue eyes that caused everyone up to now to mistake the tentacles for a smaller separate creature. Over to one side, suspended on the wall of the cavern are Choopie, MG, Big, and Arisa, their bodies wrapped up with some type of viscous fluid (looks a little like the stuff in the Alien movies) but their heads and mouths free.


Molly, unnoticed by the creature, floats down to her friends and hovers in front of them.

Molly: How do I get you out of here.

Arisa: I don’t think you can sweetie.

Big: This thing took us with ease and I haven’t been able to even bend this stuff it’s got us trussed up with.

Molly: I can’t just leave you here, I won’t . . .

Team: (in unison) Uh, Molly . . .

Behind Molly can now be seen three of the creature’s tentacles, its crystal blue eyes appearing to be focused menacingly on Molly.

Molly: What . . . (turning her head her eyes widening as she sees the tentacles)

Team: (in unison) Run!

Molly immediately shots up passing through the earth followed closely by the three tentacles that smash up through the earth behind her with relative ease. Molly knows the team is depending on her and is really exerting herself to stay ahead of the tentacles.


Molly emerges from the ground back in the same dump where this all started mere feet ahead of the three pursuing tentacles. Molly’s momentum carries her straight up into the air. So intent is her focus on the tentacles behind her that she doesn’t realize until too late that she is headed straight for the high-tension power wires the span across the dump. To wait to change her course, Molly instinctively shuts her eyes and throws her arms up in front of her to brace for the impact. Fortunately for Molly, she is intangible and simply passes through the cables unharmed. The creature's tentacles, however, are all too real and when the hit those cables the result is a million volts of electricity is sent coursing back down through the creature frying it to a crisp.


Cut to the team back at Headquarters in the break room decompressing from their encounter with the creature under the dump. The Chief enters carrying a white envelope.

Chief: Great job guys, especially you Molly, quick thinking out there.

Molly: (blushing) Thanks Chief

Chief: Now tell me, just how did this whole thing get started.

Arisa: Well Chief, I guess it really started when Choopie’s curiosity got the better of him.

Chief: Stop right there Arisa, that’s all I need to know.

The Chief walks over to Choopie and hands him the white envelope.

Chief: In that case, THIS is for you.

The Chief then smiles, turns and walks out of the room. Choopie opens the envelope while the other’s watch with interest to see what it is. As Choopie reads the letter his jaw drops and then the letter slips from his hand falling to the floor. Arisa, Big, MG and Molly all crane their necks to see what the letter was.

Cut to tight shot of the letter lying on the ground. It is a $300,000.00 dollar bill from the electric company for the million volts used to fry the creature.



Bill Nolan said...


- B

Scott Weinstein said...


Great job. I really enjoyed the story. Nicely paced. And I like what you did with the garbage monster. It was cool that the cute worm was just a tentacle. And nice work on the ending. Molly accidentaly saving everyone was great.

Congrats. Good work. I can't wait to read more.


Brian said...

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it.

Also a great big thanks to Todd for not only giving up his blog for the week, but for volunteering the artistic talents of his 'Haps partner, Craig, to add a few images to my tale.