Thursday, April 03, 2008

brian's letter and the lost wednesday!


my plan for yesterday was this. get up early--well, earlier than usual--take the car in for an alignment --some ice chunk or pothole or crazy "dukes of hazard" thing i did this winter had thrown it a little outta whack--do a couple quick errands and then come back home and post the blog.

what i was told would take "a little over and hour" took about three and a half. the cd that my nephew wanted for his birthday--yesterday, we're celebrating it tonight--which he guaranteed me he saw in best buy...not really. lines at the post office, lines at the bank, line at the really scary diner next to the shop i took my car to (have you ever gone someplace and thought "someone's been stabbed here"...?)

not complaining--i tend to take things as they come and figure everything happens for a reason...

but i just didn't get back in time.
and i really didn't need to do anything.
in answer to my plea last week for volunteer guest bloggers to jump in and allow me to get ahead on other perhapanauts-related projects, our pal, brian mulcahy, was quick to send in this very early letter for an issue of the PERHAPANAUTS that we never published! (yet.)

(in past issues i would write the letter columns myself, having the various "readers' relate to a non-existent issue of the perhapanauts and a story that never was. dunno if we'll resume that practice on our all-new, all-different IMAGE series, but it was fun to get brian's for an issue we call "big top terror"...)

here, then, is brian's letter to the 'haps...

Hi Todd,

Tried to come up with a blog column and the idea for another letter column letter hit me. It's loosely based on that Molly pin-up that Craig did. You'll know the one once you read it.

Cheers, Brian.

Dear Perhap-A-Pals, a.k.a. Todd, Craig and Rico,

Just when you think that the whole Zombie thing has been played out, you guys come up with a new twist in Issue No. 21 that will scare the "bejebus" out of any right thinking adult or child . . .


Todd, I don't recall ever mentioning to you what happened to me when my parents took me to the circus for my 7th birthday, but if did tell you about what is still only referred to in my family as "The Incident," and you wrote "Big Top Terror" anyway, than rest assured that my psychiatric bills will be headed your way, Sir.

Craig, do not think that you are off the hook as those horrific visuals you supplied to Todd's terrible typings have had me sleeping with the lights on for the past week, so expect my four page electric bill to be landing on your door step shortly.

Clowns, in and of themselves are frightening enough, but to make them Zombie Clowns and to then show them tumbling out of their tiny Zombie Clown Car in a sickening cascade of dismembered body parts only to than make me watch in retching horror as they reassemble themselves, slapping mismatched body parts on to each other in a macabre mockery of the macarana was really too much for my mind to take.

And Rico, please know that green USED to be my favorite color, but after seeing what you did with it in this issue, well let's just say that when next we meet, I'll be expecting you to replace the closet of clothing I just had to throw out.

Please forgive any spelling errors in this missive as it is awfully hard to type while keeping a firm grip on the fire ax that I picked up just as soon as I put down this phantasm you call a comic.

Damn you, damn you all to Hades.

Your Pal


P.S. If you are coming over to the house, the secret knock is three quick, two slow and three quick. Make sure you knock really loud, as it is awfully hard for me to hear anything from under my bed.

thanks so much, brian!
really enjoyed that!
and thanks, everyone, for being so patient!
back tomorrow with some more stuff and trivia.
smell ya later!


Brian said...

Hmmm . . . Molly in the background . . . well, that would explain why this one stuck with me, though I completely forgot about the Zombie Elephant also there in the picture, friends of Bill, make of that what you will.

P.S. Just for you Todd, Next Issue, the Perhapanuts in "Death at the Diner"

Anonymous said...

Brian (&Todd)-
That is an awesome letter.
While tensed up (imagining) what that poor soul must be experiencing after reliving "the Incident" through that issue (#21?), I was also laughing my head off! (which BTW, goes ...Ha! Ha! Ha!... PLOP!).

Todd- just feel sorry you had such a strange day, but would like to hear more about your "Dukes of Hazard" driving experiences.

alison said...

great letter, brian. love your sense of humor.

t, the reality of the life of todd in your post yesterday reminds me of the time Ginny (of Unicorn haircutting out in Rock City fame) (hmm, i'm thinking i might have some short story or poem fodder in that parentheses) looked at me like i was absolutely mad when I told her that I was going to the Grand Union. So, I looked back at her just as quizzically, "What?" Gin: "Well, I just didn't think you did grocery shopping...or laundry...or anything like that." I, of course, then just looked at her like she was mad. Gin: "Well, I don't know, I always imagined you maybe lived on wine and cheese and good bread from the deli...and..."

Anyway, I know the reality of you, but I just like to come here and pretend that your life is filled with creativity and oh, so interesting people 24/7--not that you have feet of clay and must run errands like the rest of us mortals. yeah, i know, pollyanna/ginny/alison - all the same, i guess. lol

Glad life pulled you along though, so that we had a chance to read Brian's great letter - see - you're right, all things do happen for a reason. :-)

Scott Weinstein said...


That was a hilarious letter. Nice work.

Heywood Jablomie said...


I agree that letter is great! I love the pic C! did as well. I was one of the people who thought the letters were real and looked to track down the old issues. Then I figgered it out, and smacked myself in the head!

And yeah I wanna hear Dukes of Hazzard stories also!

craig rousseau said...

hey, that's one of the first pieces i did to get a feel for these characters... originally molly was just gonna be that ghostly faded color scheme ... then rico come up with the blue ghost we all know and love.

haps trivia for y'all.

Brian said...

Thanks for the insight Craig. I think the "blue" color scheme works much better for Molly, but good to know she's a blonde as they do have more fun.